Seeking God in All Seasons:

God, I Will Draw Closer to You in my arrogance, in my self-righteous hate towards You, in my depravity, in my discontent, in my sin. In all states unworthy and unbecoming of You, I’ll Draw Closer to You. Why? Because I am a rebel? No, because I Know Jesus’ Blood Is Enough even for such an offense. And, I Know, the Only Way to Get Well Is By the Healer’s Side. So, I will not wait until I am well from this Incurable Terminal Illness, before approaching The Healer. No, I will not wait, I will not apologize, I will not even ask for forgiveness. No, I will instead Place my Trust in Jesus, and Recklessly Approach The King of All Worth, in the most unworthy manner. Because I Know now, there is no Worthy Way for me to Approach Such a Worthy King. Moreover, there is no way of Approach that is not Unworthy of You God, except to Say I am With Jesus. So that Is All I Say, though all I do is Unworthy. And this Is How I Approach.

Prayer:

God, how long? How long have I sat in the back of Your Table, waiting for You to Acknowledge me? Waiting for You to Say Come? How I’ve waited for Your Permission to Approach You, yet You Never did Give it. And so, I’ve come to deeply hate You for Your neglect. I asked You, why hold my unworthiness against me and keep me in the back? You never responded, You just Stared. Then I hated You more, and felt more neglected. Yet, You just Stared. 

Now though, by Your Grace, I See. 

I See that Your Gaze Has Always Been an Invitation for me; Never, was It of disdain or meant to Keep me away.

I See also that You Stare to Show me what You See. An unworthy Sinner, Made Worthy By Christ’s Blood. An unworthy Sinner destined to Draw Closer to a Worthy King, in an Unworthy manner.

God, You Know, as I now Know, I cannot Draw Closer to You in a Manner Worthy of You. So I will Shamelessly Draw Closer to You, even though I am full of shame -a shame that brings embarrassment to me and to You. No Longer Will I ask can I Draw Closer to You; I just Will, with Abandon. Not because I Doubt Your Greatness, or I Lack Reverence, but Because I Trust In The Greatness of The Salvation You Have Provided. God, no Longer Will I Long to Draw Closer to You, I Just Will By Your Will.