Hi friends, hope everyone has been well. Lately, I’ve been thinking about three simple words that have long vexed me: “I love you”. I feel like there are no other three words that carry so much weight and meaning. Indeed, some say love is ineffable. Maybe this is true, but for this week, I’d like to try capture some of its essence in words. I’d like to start with something I’ve been stuck on for a long time, and end with a related thought.

I love you; me versus you love:

Me love:

I love you, you make me happy. I love you, you make me feel wholesome. I love you, you know me. I love you, you make me a better person. I love you, you make me love myself more.

You love:

I love you, I want to make you happy. I love you, I want to be with you more. I love you, I want to know you for the first time again. I love you, I will sacrifice me for you. I love you, I appreciate and admire you.

In the past I wondered, which side of love is right? I used to think love ought be selfless, so love that focused on oneself was contrary to what love ought be. Now, I think love is meant to be reciprocated. A person that only knows “me love”, likely doesn’t love the other person. On the other hand, a person who only knows “you love”, is likely trying to make the other person love them, so they can love themselves through the other person. Personally, I’m starting to realize, I definitely fall into the “you love” category. So I’m writing this for like hearted people, even as I’m working to Change myself.

Love, though, is not necessarily a balance between the two types of love. Rather, with Love, the two types Overflow to each other. Love Grows you, and Makes you Want to Grow others.

Related thought:

If love is a battlefield, we ought know who or what is our enemy, and what we are fighting for, and what is the ultimate goal? If the other person in the relationship is who we ought win against, or even win over, then the battle was lost long before it started. No, in any loving relationship, the fight ought be us versus ____(something)?

So what is this something?

I think, what we fight against mainly is all the hardship and unexpected twists and turns this world throws at us; and against all the internal turmoil that exist within us. And what we fight for, is each other.

Ideally then, we sacrifice for the other, not compromise. Sacrifice for the other, Knowing in Love, the Growth of the other, Is Growth for oneself. And Trusting, the other is Committed to the same. Comprising may seem and be necessary at certain points in a relationship, but some obstacles in a relationship have no happy middle. Some obstacles in a relationship, require sacrifice to move forward. So better than getting into the habit of compromising, is sacrificing. If the idea of sacrificing for the other leaves a bitter taste, then that is telling of a relationship. So too, if you joyfully sacrifice , this too is telling of a relationship.

What is the end goal of Love?

I think, Love Is Its own End Goal. Nothing else is actually a worthy end goal, and only serves to contradict Love.

How so? Because Love Is for all who Seek It; and to have Love’s End Goal be anything other than Love, is to exclude some person or people -perhaps even oneself- from Love. So as best as possible, Seek Love for the Sake of Love. To do otherwise will lead to hurt and disappointment for oneself and others.